On Being Attacked By Ospreys On Bobs Lake

My husband was out in his kayak and lo and behold he feared a serious attack—and wrote the following poem.


Listen here and stay awake
My kayak was upon the lake
I paddled slowly took my time
I saw a frog, a squirrel climb

And then I saw above my head
Something that increased my dread
Angry birds with piercing cries
They followed me, I tell no lies

I paddled quickly to escape
My arms outstretched my mouth agape
They circled closely and in one swoop
They dove and promptly dropped some poop

“Help” I cried,” ”a bird attack”
Nasty Ospreys — they don’t quack
Their eyes ablaze their sharpened beak
I thought, “My god, My fate is bleak”

What had I done to prompt their rage?
There was no way I could assuage
I thought I must be near their nest.
I was no man I was a pest!

So I paddled even more
Another swoop, I raced for shore
Diving bombs and then some shit
And I cried, “why this is it!”

But suddenly they flew away
To let me live another day
No longer in their nesting space
I paddled home to my own place

The moral is to check the sky
Make sure no birds are flying by
If they,are don’t be a chump
NPaddle fast, avoid a dump.

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